Done Procrastinating
by KricketWilliams
Summary: Almost losing Garcia motivates Morgan to stop procrastinating
1. Chapter 1

AN: I don't own "Criminal Minds." CBS does and they do a pretty good job with it!

Chapter 1

Penelope Garcia sat in a sports bar with a couple of good friends who didn't care that much about sports, either. Vivian and Lydia were good friends of hers from her early days at the FBI. They were analysts, but on a different level than she was. She worked for a specialized team of agents called the Behavioral Analysis Unit, or the BAU. She worked nearly every day, with very little time off and being constantly on call. Lyd and Viv worked for general processing.

Needless to say, Lyd and Viv had massive social lives compared to Pen. It wasn't that she wasn't pretty. She always felt she could lose a few, maybe do a few things to sharpen her image, but she didn't think she was ugly. She was just not someone that anyone would wax poetic about. She just felt… like Penelope. Lyd and Viv were on their usual subject du jour, Penelope's lack of relationships and their hopping calendar.

"Pen, we're not saying that you need to change your life or anything," Lyd said, smiling sheepishly over at her. She had heard it. Over and over. Broken flippin' record. Penelope thought of humming, waiting for the inevitable…

"But it wouldn't hurt to go see Chad's brother. He's a doll, really." Viv added. She looked over at Pen, her eyebrow arched. Pen knew what was coming, but she didn't want to deal. Not now. Not with the changes at the BAU. _I'll take, 'I don't want to hear it' for a $1000, Alex._

Recently, Strauss had been giving Hotch a hard time, and Hotch did the smart thing before having to relinquish all his control: He passed the torch onto Derek Morgan. This made Derek incredibly busy. He was her best friend, but Penelope was questioning that more and more. Right before Derek was promoted, there was a case that caused their only true disagreement in the many years she knew him.

Then, Derek had become wrapped up in a case where a woman's brother was killed. Derek seemed to be crossing a line with her, consorting and discussing with her off the record. Penelope was brave enough to speak to him about it. He told her loved her, but she was "way out of line." She was certain he was going to hook up with Tamara Barnes, and get hurt. She never found out what happened. He just disappeared, no more office or home visits, no more sexy jokes.

"It's not Derek, is it?" Viv questioned, interrupting Pen's thoughts. Vivian's peachy pout was becoming more pronounced.

Penelope answered the same thing she had for a long time. "It's not like that between me and Derek. He's my best friend and I love him, but it's not love like that."

"I don't know what you see in the guy. I mean, he's a serial player, and he's…." her voice trailed off. Vivian couldn't come up with the right answer. Then something hit. "It's almost like 'friends with benefits' except he is taking your heart and soul instead of the sex."

"Look," she said angrily. "Don't mock something you don't understand. I'm his best friend, he comes to me when he's hurting, and me to him. He comes to me when he's happy. He's my first call in the morning, and I'm his last call at night…." She started to go on and on. She told them that she shared her heart with him too, that he always protected her, always was her knight in shining armor, always was there for her. She could have gone on and on. He was her everything.

Penelope stopped when she noticed that Viv and Lyd were staring at her, mouths agape.

"Oh, Penelope," Vivian said, shaking her head. "You have it bad. How long have you been in love with him?"

"I can't believe we didn't see it coming," Lydia said. "We're as blind as he is!"

"I'm not…" she began, then stopped. Oh God, what had she done? She did really love him. She knew it, but she didn't know she was quite that transparent. She looked up at them, her eyes big and glossy, her face pale. She could barely breathe. "Wh-what have I done?"

Lydia looped an arm around her shoulders. "Aw, honey, it'll be okay."

Vivian said. "Girl, he's going to string you along for ever."

"You're going to really get hurt, chasing that one." Lydia said. "Best to drop those thoughts now when you never really _had_ Derek Morgan."

"You need to move on, start distancing yourself from him more, and we're going to help you," Viv said, tapping Pen on her upturned nose. "We won't let you pine forever for that Morgan man."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

_AN: Dearest reviewers and readers of my little story: As always, thank you! Second, I am sorry about the format of how I downloaded the first chapter. I am trying to figure this stuff out! *blush*  
Just watched tonight's episode of "Criminal Minds." Won't give anything away-- but will say I don't like where it's going!!!_

He was svelte, he was sexy, he was charming and funny. He was fit and athletic, with the body to match. His looks were disarming. His intelligence was above par. Penelope couldn't help but smile when she thought of him, and how much he really seemed to like her. He loved to flirt and would call often just to make her smile or laugh.

He was doing that now as she leaned against her desk, cute pointed chin in her hand, smiling at her computer screen. "Tell me more, Sweetie," she purred to the deep voiced man on her line. She smiled, placing a red fingertip between equally red lips. She started to laugh huskily as she turned around in her chair.

Standing in her doorway with a disgruntled look on his face was Derek Morgan. "I need you to look up some information, Baby Girl, and you didn't pick up your phone. What's up?"

"Are you okay, darling?" the voice on the speaker said, and Penelope quick pulled the cord, disconnecting. She turned about three shades of scarlet; busted by the "boss."

Derek quirked a brow at her. "Who was that?"

"N-nobody," she lied.

"Oh no, you didn't," Derek countered. "You didn't just lie to me. What's up?"

Penelope took a deep breath. She didn't know why she was so dreading this conversation with Derek. For a the past three months, the disconnect continued. Somehow, her best friend whom she always loved stopped being there for her. She had always felt special with Derek, always closer than the rest of the team. She had always hoped he felt the same.

…. and then Pen met Nicholas.

"Derek, I met someone," she said, and he couldn't hide a smirk, no matter how hard he tried. Pen's taste in men was usually atrocious! "No, no one to laugh at, Derek. He's wonderful, gorgeous, down to earth, intelligent, wonderful…. I said that one, didn't I?"

Derek blinked a few times, then remembered to smile at her. It didn't quite meet his eyes, but Penelope just kept rattling on. "He's a friend of my friends. He's a computer programmer, but in a completely different area than I am. He also plays rugby. I didn't even know they had rugby in the US, but I digress."

Derek looked at the light in her eyes, the glow in her cheeks. He used to be able to put that glow there. He leaned a bit closer. "Sweetness found herself a honey," he said, leisurely leaning against the doorframe. "How'd that happen under my nose?"

Penelope rolled her eyes. "You haven't exactly been around, Derek."

"Well, if you're happy, I'm happy," he said.

"I am," she said.

"Good," he said. "Listen, I gotta go. Here's that file."

He didn't turn around to see Penelope's sad smile as she watched him walk away.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

_AN: I am absolutely humbled and honored by the wonderful reviews that I have received. Thank you to those who are enjoying my "twist" on a favorite near and dear to our hearts. On that note, after Tuesday's episode, this was crying to be written. _

Derek was getting madder by the minute. He was going through a funk, which wasn't uncommon with behavioral analysts. This funk had lasted since the case with Tamara. He was stepping up to the plate, being the boss, but it just didn't feel right. There was more to it than he ever thought. The funny thing was, Hotch looked younger and spunkier than he had in years, being a field agent again. He was starting to envy him a bit!

He hadn't slept well in months, he hadn't had a great relationship, and he spent far too much time working out with the punching bag. He was a bit thinner, a bit tougher looking, a bit older _feeling_. His relationship with the rest of the team hadn't changed much, or so he thought. He hadn't had the time to talk to Penelope; he was just so damn busy his head spun. He worked longer days and longer hours than he ever had before. He stopped by her apartment a few times, looking for some solace, but the lights were always off. Derek always figured he'd get the time soon to smooth things over with his Baby Girl and things would go back to normal.

It didn't take long for him to realize he made a huge mistake in delaying. He seriously thought that Penelope would always be there for him, always waiting for him to get his shit together, waiting for when he was ready to settle. He thought this would pass, this thing with Nick Deverell. It passed with Lynch, it always passed with everyone that she dated. Then, he'd have his baby girl back.

Derek knew it was unfair. He always knew that she loved him. It was in her eyes. The others thought he was blind, but he wasn't; after all, he was a profiler too. He could read her like a book. He knew what she thought when she thought it. He didn't like her with the other men, but in her eyes he never really had anything to worry about. In her eyes, she was always his.

He also knew that there was an inevitable truth when you worked for the BAU: relationships ended poorly because you lived this job, you breathed this job-- this job overtakes your life. Not that he didn't try. He dated Tamara Barnes with the hope that she could be the one that gave him "normalcy." A life outside of the BAU, away from everything here.

But she didn't understand the nightmares, the mental brandishing and guilt he felt when things didn't go right. He'd talk about a case; she'd either cry or get queasy. Garcia would call the Unsub a "sicko" and calm his fears, the way only she could. He'd sit with Tamara, watching some chick flick, and his mind would wander back to when he was watching some slapstick comedy with Garcia instead. When he laughed with her, he really laughed. And Garcia! She laughed so hard, she snorted. He couldn't imagine Tamara snorting. He thought of the many nights he shared pepperoni pizza and beer with Garcia. Tamara was a chardonnay-type of girl, and ordered her pizza with light cheese. He thought Sunday morning football at Garcia's. Garcia pretended to like it, only to fall asleep on his lap minutes into the game. He didn't try that with Tamara… it just didn't feel right.

Somehow, after a while, _nothing_ felt right with Tamara. She was beautiful, she was kind, she was generous… and she was all wrong. Soon, he found the conversations lacking, the passion drying, and the relationship a chore. He questioned if he'd be fit for human companionship to anyone. And he found that he was unwilling to change. He loved the BAU, he loved his team….most of all Garcia.

He could see in Garcia's eyes the insecurity that flared. She thought she wasn't good enough for him. She had it so backward- he was no where near good enough for her. He was a player and a wanderer with more baggage than a United flight. He just wanted the scars of his life gone before he started a new life with her. She deserved that. Damn Buford, damn his past relationships, damn his inability to truly trust. He wanted to come to her a full man, a real man, not someone weak and broken half the time.

His thoughts were interrupted by the young Dr. Reid, brandishing a full file. "Morgan, I'm done with this one. What's the matter with you? You look like someone shot your puppy!"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

_AN: Thanks again, wonderful reviewers, and to all those reading this story! This probably could have been two chapters, but I wanted the weekend to not have so much angst._

Penelope sat in the dining room at Lydia's house. It was like most date nights, Lyd, Viv, their respective "boyfriends." Lydia and Vivian were beside themselves with joy over the great matchmaking skills that they had. Pen thought that they had every reason to gloat; Nick really was a great guy.

The past 5 months that they had been dating swam by so quickly, they were a blur. In honesty, she didn't get to spend that much time with Nick. He was really wonderful about it; unlike Lyd and Viv, he completely understood that he job was absorbing. He thought of her as kind of a "wonder woman" who solved crimes. So, seeing her most Saturdays and the occasional Friday and Sunday was fine with him.

Penelope liked him, she truly did. She also knew that she could easily grow to love him, someday. She was guarding her heart a little tightly these days. However, Nick was the kind of person that was just plain ol' lovable. Even the team, sans Morgan (He had "other plans" that night.), met him and liked him. No one could say a single negative about Nick. He was caring, polite, and handsome. He was even somewhat chivalrous. His manners were impeccable. He always opened the door for her, pulled out her chair for her. He was just… a good guy.

So, what was the problem? Pen couldn't figure it out, more than she didn't know him. How could she, when she was so busy with work? Lyd and Viv pleaded with her to really get to know him on a near daily basis. She was making up her mind to devote more deservedly earned attention to one Nick Deverell when he interrupted her with a kiss on her cheek.

That was a big deal. Nick didn't believe in displays, even in an intimate group like the one they had going tonight, and kissing her in any way shape or form in public was a display. The rare times they were private, he was much warmer. He dolled out nicknames and gave toe-curling kisses. She really should listen to Vivian and Lydia and open up her heart again. He's a good man.

"Hey, honey," he said, smiling at her after the kiss and holding her hand. "You seemed so far away. Is anything wrong?"

"No, no," she said, smiling and patting his hand. "Everything's great."

A relieved grin crossed his face. "Oh, I am so glad, because…" he said, tapping his wine glass with a fork. "I have a pronouncement to make."

A shiver crossed Penelope's spine that told her _"Whatever this is, it can't be good…"_

"Penelope Garcia," he said, dropping to one knee in the proper fashion for his next statement. "Will you marry me?"

Shrieks of excitement surrounded her by her friends. The hopeful look on Nick's face made Penelope want to cry… and not for a good reason. "_But you barely know me!"_ she wanted to say, desperate for the words and finding that she couldn't say them. "_I barely know you. Let's slow this down. You've never even kissed me in public, and now you want to marry me?" _She was feeling flushed and faint, she needed air, big time.

"_Pull yourself together, Garcia!" _she thought rabidly.

She smiled at Nick and patted his cheek with her hand. "I…I'll think about it," she said to the groans of disapproval from her friends.

Derek almost laughed at the soap opera that his life was becoming. Was he getting so obvious that even the kid could see what he's thinking? He smirked, "Nothing. I'm cool."

"Oh, okay. Hey," Spencer said. "Have you heard Garcia is thinking of getting engaged?"

Derek's stomach jumped into his throat. He quickly willed it back where it belonged. "Engaged?"

"You know? To be betrothed for marriage, promised." Reid couldn't help himself; if there was a fact to be shared, he shared it. It was almost an illness: Fact-itis. "Did you know that engagements were thought to be originated in 1215 by…"

"Reid," Derek growled, glaring at Reid.

"Sorry!" he said sheepishly, heading towards out the door. Derek followed and stopped by Prentiss's desk. "You know?"

"That's the rumor," Emily said. She cocked her head and looked over up him. "You know: I always kind of thought she'd end up with you."

"Hey, back off, there," Derek warned, trying to remain cool and calm in spite of his heart thumping in his ears. Derek knew that the team knew that his relationship with Garcia was "special." They gave him hell over their hot and heavy flirting over the years. Some even goaded him to take the plunge and ask her out; but that ended after five years of no real action on their parts. "She's my best friend, and.."

"She sure isn't 'best friends' with Nick," Emily said, smiling. "Not the way they dance together."

"T-M-I, " Derek laughed, shaking his head at her attempts to rile him. He was playing it cool.

Emily gave him a disappointed look. "Never took you for a coward," she muttered, turning back to her computer.

"What!" Morgan scoffed.

"You know: someone who shows unwieldy fear or timidi-" Reid didn't finish; he disappeared as Morgan took two steps towards him.

He shut the door to the office and ran his hand over his face. "What am I going to do?" he said, for a moment letting everything sink in. Emily wasn't too far off the mark; he was a coward, afraid to fail. He thought of telling her, but he already had, so many times that she may not believe him anymore. Or mistake it for the wrong kind of love.

Then a huge smile crossed his face. He knew exactly what he was going to do.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

_AN: Thank you again, dear readers and reviewers! This one is shorter than the last one, but I think you all may still like it! _

Pen woke up with a headache. She felt foggy, probably from having one too many glasses of wine at dinner. Nick was pressuring her for an answer. Usually patient Nick was becoming rather impatient with her for not making a decision to marry him. She wondered if it had anything to do with not having to wait for anything in his life before. His family doted on him, his friends adored him, everyone did.

Nick's cousin Chad remarked that Nick was "the Golden Boy" who always got what he wanted. "You're going to marry him," he quipped. "there's no other choice."

Vivian and Lydia were seething at her for not accepting Nick's proposal. They didn't seem to understand Penelope's hesitation in answering. They seemed to think this is exactly what Pen needed and wanted. And it should have been, if it just didn't feel somehow...wrong.

Penelope opened her office and sat her desk, frustrated that her mind was not working on it's normal capacity. She took a slurp of her cappuccino, burning her tongue a bit. She groaned, reaching for a tissue, when a knock sounded. In walked a delivery kid carrying an enormous bouquet of purplish blue flowers.

"Special delivery for Ms. Garcia." The nasal toned man gave her the bouquet and a board to sign. She searched through the bouquet for a note. Nothing.

"Umm, is there a card?" she said, signing her name with a flourish.

"Look," he said with some annoyance. "I just deliver what I'm given. I have a busy day ahead of me, so if you don't mind?" He grabbed the clipboard and left.

By the end of the day, poor Penelope had to face that same delivery kid seven more times. She was almost embarrassed of the office full of flowers. Beautiful flowers, all sorts of colors and styles. There were purple hyacinth, roses, baby's breath, fresh ferns to accent. Her office smelled heavenly and looked even better. She smiled as she dug through each bouquet, looking for the card from Nick, but never found one.

This was the most extravagant thing that he ever did. She couldn't figure it out. He wasn't really into show, that much. He would dance with her, but he wasn't the real PDA type. And he considered flowers, jewelry, flashy things like that, PDA. Maybe trying to get her to say yes to the proposal was changing that. She liked that. She secretly wanted to be swept up into a passionate affair. Few people knew that…

Well, one person did. One person knew she dreamed of that kind of romance. He even teased her about being a "hopeless romantic." She frowned deeper at the path her thoughts took, squashing them as quickly as they came.

She glanced over at the last bouquet, a bunch of lilacs. She glanced at the bottom of that one, and saw paper. Quickly, she grabbed the small typed note:

"Red roses are love, pink roses admiration, white roses mean you're heavenly, ferns are magic, iris means your friendship means so much to me, purple hyacinth is I'm sorry, please forgive me…and lastly is mauve lilac."

For some reason, Nick didn't type the meaning of that last one. Luckily, Pen knew her way around a computer! She quickly pulled up something with the meaning of flowers. "You can't hide from me, oh mystery mauve lilac!" she said, tapping away excitedly. She let the card drop out of her hand onto the floor as she looked at the meaning on the screen in front of her:

"Do you still love me?"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

_AN: Sorry I am a little slow on the go. Regular life got in the way… darn it! As usual, thank you, dear readers and reviewers. You truly make my day when I open my email and see those reviews! This one is loooooong…_

The next day, Penelope's door was open a little bit. She quirked a brow at the door, almost afraid to open it. She knew she had to sit in that office all day, and she had no idea was was coming. Her heart was pounding a bit. She was frowning to herself. All last night, she played detective with herself, figuring out the noir "mystery of the flowers."

The more she thought, the more she knew the answer. The flowers didn't come from Nick. Not his style, gentle Nick. Wonderful Nick. Kind Nick. Nick Nick. It was hard to think of Nick when her heart was thumping in her head, instead of her chest.

No, this was a show. A grand show. A special show. Something to make her take notice. All that flash was definitely someone else's style. _Well, Derek Morgan, now you want me- you can wait! _She thought vehemently, thinking the words she didn't have the courage to say. Who did he think he was, anyway? She was over him, on with her life, over him, through with him, over him…. Yep. She was.

"_If you want to scrape your heart off the floor every time you go to work, go ahead and keep pining." Pen could hear Vivian's voice, encouraging her to do what was right._

"_Penny, dear," Lydia said. "He isn't worth it. He'll only break your heart. No friendship is worth that heartache."_

"Stupid heart," she grumbled. It still accelerated at the thought of him. No one else made it do that. "He's a danger; want to break again? Besides, it may not even be him."

After all, Morgan called her like always, asking his questions like usual, no change in him. He even noticed all the deliveries coming in. The others popped in and took a gander at the flowers, made all sorts of remarks, but Derek just smiled and said, "Nice. You deserve them."

That was it.

Twenty minutes into her shift, it started again. "Special delivery for Ms. Garcia." In came the same delivery person with a box of chocolates. Fancy gold box with a beautiful red ribbon, but no card. Then came another box. And another. The whole day. Every hour. A box of chocolates. Her favorite kind, with no card at all.

"Ooh, can I have one?" Emily said, coming in her office and grabbing a piece with a chocolate espresso bean on the top. She popped it in her mouth and rolled her eyes in ecstasy. "That Nick has GREAT taste. Are you sure he doesn't have a cousin for me somewhere?"

Penelope laughed, but it was a bit strained. Nick didn't have a clue what her favorite brand of chocolate was.

But someone else did.

The next day, Penelope sat there waiting for it. She didn't even turn on her computer. She was sure something was coming today, and she wanted to face it head on. Tuesday, flowers. Wednesday, chocolate. Thursday…. She was bracing herself for an onslaught. She wanted to stay angry, and was determined to remain angry- no matter how sweet the gesture was.

Too late, but sweet.

Twenty minutes after the start of her shift, in came the delivery boy. Same guy from the eight times yesterday. This time, the little cretin actually grinned at her as he said, "Special delivery for Ms. Garcia."

She whipped the pink box with the magenta bow out of his hand. She wasn't surprised that it had no card. She ripped it open and found an adorable teddy bear. Next hour, a lion. Next hour, a giraffe. By the time she left, she had her own stuffed animal zoo.

She was going to be strong, not let anything sway her opinion. So, he knew her like the back of his hand. She knew him too. After five years you know someone. Plus, all these things didn't mean love… right?

The next day, same delivery kid, twenty minutes after the start of her shift. "Hey, same bat time, same bat channel?" he said, smirking.

Penelope took the rectangular white box from him. She waited for him to leave before she opened it. An absolutely stunning necklace was in the box. Made of real Greek gold and Aegean sea pearls, it was absolutely stunning. It was a bit flashy, yet classy too, just like Penelope herself. Again, she looked for the card, again she came up empty.

Hour after hour, stunning Grecian gold jewelry arrived. Bracelets, earrings, anklets, necklaces. She was mortified when she thought of the cost to the past couple of days! The 5:00 box was a little different this time. She opened it and a scroll sealed with a beautiful ring fell out. Misty eyed with shock and awe, she unrolled the scroll to read:

"Penelope,

You are named for a mere mortal in Greek mythology, but you and your name sake are Goddesses to the men they love. Odysseus made his goddess Penelope wait for 20 years while he was at war. He was such a fool. She waited patiently for him. He thought she would wait forever, but then some other men started to pursue her. It's been five years for me; I've been a fool long enough. Penelope forgave her Odysseus; she never stopped loving him. Am I so lucky?"

"Damn you, Derek," she said, as tears rolled down her cheeks. She had a decision to make.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

_AN: No where to break in this one either, so it's another really long one. As always, this is for my reviewers and readers. You make it so rewarding to write. I doodled and futzed for a long time with this one..._

He stood outside her apartment door, his hand poised to knock. This whole thing was kicking his ass; he had never been this unsure in his life. She called him and left a message, just four words.

"We need to talk."

Derek took a deep breath just before he knocked. It was Saturday morning, bright and early. He had two coffees in a drink tray, and a couple of muffins in a bag. He waited a couple of minutes before he knocked again. He cursed himself, thinking he should have called. He did have a key--she had one to his place, too-- but it had been so long he didn't feel comfortable using it anymore.

He groaned to himself. What was he thinking to have made himself uncomfortable around his Baby Girl? That woman deserved all of him for so long-- and he deserved all of her. They needed each other; he knew that now. Deep down, he always knew it. Now, he just had to convince her.

The door opened and a non-spectacled, sleep rumpled Garcia answered the door. "Derek? It's 6am!" She was absolutely glaring at him; this was not a good start, but he didn't care-he was so glad to see her, she could punch him and he'd _still_ smile. She was wearing adorable blue pajamas covered in pink elephants. Her feet were bare, showing turquoise polish on her toenails.

"Uh, sorry so early, Goddess," he said, holding the coffee tray up at her with the trademark "Derek Morgan" grin. "Peace offering?"

Penelope turned around and walked away, but she left the door open. Derek smiled as he followed her over to her couch. She plopped down on the couch and sat cross legged, her feet tucked under her. Derek sat right next to her, shrugged off his coat, then handed her the coffee.

Pen took a sip. Pumpkin spice. Her favorite. She sighed, and looked over at Derek. She almost smiled at the anxious look on his face. It was so out of character for him. Cocky, smooth, suave Derek was hanging on her every expression. She had the power for the first time in their "relationship," and she wasn't sure if she liked it. It made things so… different.

She yawned and stretched her arms over her head. She didn't sleep well last night. She talked to her friends, rather hopeful about her situation and they came up with some hard insights. At the end, she knew she shouldn't be hopeful, shouldn't think of him as anything more than a colleague. " _If he was serious, he'd tire of you, eventually. Players always do." Viv said. _And Lydia:_"He only wants you because you're free of him." _She finally slunk off to bed at around midnight, guarding her beleaguered heart more tightly than ever.

"I suppose I should have mentioned a time or something in my message," she began.

"It's oka-"

"No," she interrupted. "Please let me finish. You shell-shocked me this week, Derek. You did it on purpose and you did it very well. When you want something, you go for it whole heartedly. You set me as your target, and you hit ground zero." He was grinning at her. He was obviously very proud of what he had done. But she wasn't done. Not by a long shot. "Derek, what I want to know is: why now?"

"Because I love you, Garcia," he said simply.

"I know, Derek," she said, surprising him. " As a friend. What changed in me or you that made you see me as more than your friend? What changed?"

Derek looked over at her and sighed. "Baby, nothing's changed," he said, noticing that she stiffened a little. He ran a hand over his face, sighing before he continued. "Truth is, I've always noticed you, as a friend of course, but also as so much more. I think--"

"Ha!" she said, crossing her arms over her chest defensively.

"Please let me finish," he said, mimicking her tone and making her smile in spite of herself. "Baby, I know you're not going to believe me on that one, but it's true. You're the reason I loved going to work for a long time; I looked forward to flirting with you."

"Why now?" she prodded.

Derek wasn't pleased with how that was turning out. He wished she'd drop that little question. No man wanted his woman to know that another man made him sit up and take heed. Still, he wasn't going to lie. Not at this stage in the game, and not ever to her.

"Nick Deverell, that's why now," he said simply. "The thought of losing you made me sick. I couldn't think of that without my heart aching. Woman, I don't want to lose you now."

She shook her head sadly, reaching out to hold his hand, her eyes were sad and resigned. Her friends warned her that this was why he was doing this.

"Derek," she said, her eyes big and glistening with unshed tears. "You're doing this because you're afraid I won't be your friend. You needn't worry. No matter who I am with, I would always be there for you."

"Penelope." She knew this was serious, he didn't usually call her by her name! He brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed the palm gently, electricity shooting straight to her heart. "Listen to me; what I feel for you is so much more than friendship. I know it's more for you, too. I knew it, and I let it go. Because I wasn't ready, because I didn't want to come to you scarred and broken, I became a fool. I come to you now, my mask off, your tarnished knight."

"I'm your friend, Derek, there's…" One quick move, suddenly Penelope was on her back on her couch and Derek was kissing her. Exhilaration filled her body at the touch of his lips. He kissed her with all the passion he had, gently drawing out all the secrets of her soul. He was everywhere, all-consuming, like no other kisses have ever been. She couldn't deny him what he already knew; she wanted him with all her being.

He broke off the kiss, staring at her with passion darkened eyes. "Does a friend kiss you like that, Baby Girl?" He ran a finger over her lips as he pressed more intimately against her. "Does this feel like the response of a friend? Damn it, woman! Believe in me again." He pressed another kiss to her bee-stung lips. He put his forehead against hers, his voice hoarse and pleading. "Trust in US."

She was speechless. It was hard to think with Derek so overwhelming her. This is what she wanted for so long, but real fear nipped at her. She was afraid to take that step. She tore her eyes away from his, and swallowed hard before talking again. "You'd tire of me. You'd wonder what you ever saw in me."

"Do you want to know what I see in you?" Derek smiled gently as he held her chin in his hand, coaxing her to look at him. "I see a beautiful face, and a heart that's been through so much. I see a pure soul, tender compassion, enduring strength, and everlasting love. I see my hopes and dreams, my future. Sugar, there's no one else for me. No one. I'm done playing; I need to come home."

He looked into her face, his heart in his eyes. They were like an open book, pleading, praying and hoping. Never in five years had she seen him look like this, so raw and open.

Her heart swelled. It was what she had wanted for so long. She had to make a decision. She could either take what was right in front of her and believe in him, in _them_, or believe in fear- fear placed from her friends, fear from the distance of the last few months, fear placed from inadequacy in her own mind, fear of not being enough.

She'd been afraid long enough. Everything she ever wanted was right before her eyes. Then she realized; all along, she needed to believe in herself.

Time to be bold.

It didn't take long for Derek to see the words register in her mind, then her heart. Her eyes watered, but she smiled. "Don't make me cry. My nose is going to get red."

Derek grinned his biggest boyish smile as he sat up and grabbed a tissue for her. He felt younger than he had in months. "Did I win, Baby Girl?" he teased, his heart in his eyes.

She noisily blew her nose, and grinned back. "What do you think?"


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

_AN: Kind of an epilogue chapter. Thanks again for reviews, you wonderful people, you!_

A few hours later, Derek and Penelope were laying in her bed, watching Saturday morning cartoons and eating Cheerios out of the box, kissing each other for no reason other than they felt like it. Derek was still in his jeans and t-shirt, Pen still in her pajamas. After all the emotion, all they both wanted was just to be by each other, absorbing each other's thoughts, savoring this special closeness.

It was a bit like old times, just hanging with Derek, watching "Scooby Doo" and laughing at the mysteries. Derek used to jokingly profile the characters: "_Unsub is a white male, age 50-60, wearing a sheet. Likes to lurk in castles.."_ Except, now it was so much better. There was no doubt in her mind that this is where she belonged. Her heart knew it all along.

"You know," Derek questioned, breaking the sweet silence. "I wonder if Fred and Daphne ever got it on?"

Penelope snickered. After three hours of silence, pressed so close not even a fly could come between them, that comment was the last thing she expected. "_That_ is the best thing you could come up with? We bared our souls, and the first thing you say to me is _that_?"

Derek pounced on her and started to tickle her mercilessly. "Tease me, will you, woman?"

"Uncle! Uncle, Derek!" she cried out, rather pathetically after a few minutes. She would have made a horrible spy; she would have given up state secrets to avoid prolonged tickling. They lounged back in companionable silence again, before she said, "I'm glad we were friends before all this, though."

"Yeah," he said, leaning in to give her a quick kiss. "But it all lead up to this, you know. I think everyone knew that we'd end up together. Like peanut butter and jelly," he wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Chocolate and vanilla."

"I always wanted you," she said, sheepishly. "One look across the room at you and I was hooked, bamboozled, snookered."

Me too," he said, laying on his back with his arms folded behind his head. "I have always had a fascination with your lips, your ass, and your breasts. A man could feast on those three for days, and still have some for leftovers."

Penelope blushed; it was still rather amazing that he wasn't just kidding all those years. Ah, mon cher; you've had sexy thoughts about me?"

"'Talk dirty to me, Hot Stuff,'" he mimicked in her voice, rolling over on his side to smile at her. "'I'll show you a good morning, Hot Stuff.' Christ, woman. You made me damn hot…." he nuzzled her neck, placing kisses on her collarbones, left then right.

"Should've taken me up on it," she said, smiling back at him. "I wouldn't have complained."

"I was a fool," he said, his smile dimming a bit. "But not as bad as Odysseus."

"That was a nice touch," she said, grinning bigger, tapping his nose with her finger. "Didn't know you were into mythology."

"I'm not," he said, adding one word. "Reid."

She laughed a bit at that, thinking of Derek enlisting Reid in his seduction plan. That brought up another thought. "Does the whole team know?"

"Mmm hmm, which brings up the bigger question." He reached an arm out, pulling her so that she lay on top of him. "Want to make an honest man of me?"

She sat up and looked down at his handsome face. He held both of her hands and grinned up at her, his heart and his love shining in his eyes.

"I don't know, Derek," she said truthfully. "It's all sort of sudden, and I need some time to absorb all this."

His eyes dimmed a little, but the love didn't fade. "Alright, Baby. I can accept that. I'll wait for you," he said, shooting her another grin. "I'll even wait twenty years like the other Penelope did."

Penelope leaned forward and gave Derek a deep, beautiful kiss. "No where near that long, my vision. Soon, I promise." She glanced at the little gold ring on her left hand from yesterday. She contemplated the ring before asking, "What would you have given me Monday, if I played hard-to-get? After all that other stuff, I can't think of anything else."

"I probably would have walked into your office, buck naked, and said, 'Put me out of my misery, woman!'"

Penelope started to laugh again. "I knew I should have waited!"

And so, about a year or so later, life was still chipper, still wonderful, the only difference being the little gold band moved to the right hand so that the diamond ring could take it's place. The guest list was extensive; the entire BAU, nearly the entire FBI, and a lot of other letters of the alphabet were there, along with family and friends.

And of course, Vivian and Lydia were there. Nick wasn't, but he took the whole thing as well as any jilted person could. After eating an extensive assortment of crow, Lyd and Viv had changed their tune about Derek. They were actually jealous of Penelope's love life for once. There was no doubt about it that Penelope's love life was hot; Derek actually smoldered around her most of the time.

"You ready?" A beaming Hotch offered Penelope his tuxedoed arm. Pen glanced at the end of the aisle, where one chocolate Adonis stood waiting for her. There was no shortage of high wattage smiles today.

"Honey, I was born ready for this," she said, and took the first step to happily ever after.


End file.
